There's No Magic Handshake

I guess I've been a professional writer long enough that I'm attracting people who want to know the magic handshake.

There is no magic handshake.

There's no secret formula.

There's no password to riches.

Frankly, if you want to be rich, invest wisely. Or buy a Powerball ticket. Or find a sugar daddy/sugar mommy.

Over the last two decades, I've met a lot of writers who have quit. They got discouraged. Tired. Bored. But in almost every case, they tried to be like every other writer. They followed tropes and rules instead of being their own unique selves.

But the most important of all, it's what they don't mention that's really behind them quitting. I never hear them say how much they love story-telling.

Never. Ever.

If you don't love making up stories, you're not going to have a long-term career. I and most other readers can tell when your heart's not into the story you wrote.

Basically, if you're not having a good time writing your story, why do you do it? There's a shit-ton of of jobs out there that are tiring and frustrating.  I've been down those roads. You can usually leave the bullshit at the office or factory.

But writing and storytelling should be a passion. Something you can't live without. It's a tough road, but it's worth it when you love it. It's no different that any other art.

The only two things you need to remember is BICFOK, i.e. "butt in chair, fingers on keyboard".

And love your stories!

My Favorite Music Artists

I'm starting with two months of Prince and his various incarnations over the decades. I admit I play his albums while writing romance scenes.

Errands and Accidental Insults

I had a bunch of errands to run today after yoga. Picking up my prescription drugs. Dropping off paperwork for Princess Bella's surgery in two weeks--nothing major, but somehow she managed to break two teeth at the end March, and they need to be pulled. Stop at our dentist and request a full accounting from December of 2023 until now because the company handling our Flex spending account had thrown a fit about the documentation we've already sent them.

Also, I stopped to get a haircut.

Not a big deal, right? The stylist asked how my day was, and I said, "I'm running errands." He was like, "Oh, errands." I shrugged and said, "It beats being at work."

And I apparently offended him.

Oops!

And running errands did beat sitting at home, staring at the laptop screen, because I got stuck on a scene right before I went to bed last night. Ironically, I was able to work out a solution to the story in my head while he cut my hair in total silence.

It was pretty obvious he assumed I was a Karen. Most probably a wife of some Marathon Petroleum executive. But he didn't ask what I did for a living, and when he got huffy, I didn't offer.

I get it. Sometimes, it's hard for people to make a living, and I know I've been graced with certain privileges. However, my life has been all over the place. I've headed the probate division of a law firm, and I've worked three jobs while homeschooling an eight-year-old.

But good grief! I'm getting my hair cut at a discount place, not at a fancy, schmancy salon. Think it through, man!

Should I have apologized? Maybe. But I stubbornly dig my heels whenever someone jumps to conclusions about me. And that's the same whether it's a stylist in Findlay, Ohio, or the mom at GH's daycare who turned her nose up at me because she worked for Vinson & Elkins in Houston (second biggest law firm in the city), and I didn't.

ECLIPSE!

DH and I took today off. It's been a busy, busy year, and we're already a quarter and change through 2024. And today, our little town was almost smack dab in the middle of eclipse totality.

I've seen partial eclipses in person, and I've seen picture of full eclipses, but nothing prepared me for a full in-person eclipse.

We moved our front porch bench out into the front yard before we grabbed our eclipse glasses, DH's binoculars, and Princess Bella. The neighbors on our side of the street did similar things with their seats, equipment, and pets. Folks on the opposite side of the street were in their back yards. Local schools cancelled classes, so all the kids in the neighborhood had a grand time since our weather was damn near perfect--70 degrees, a scattering of cirrus clouds, and no rain.

Princess Bella was only confused about why we were sitting outside instead of relaxing on our recliner couch. The birds and crickets were like, "Whoa! That was a short day."

The drop in temperature and the darkness I expected. We were lucky enough to see Bailey's Beads and the diamond ring effect. What I didn't expect was my bionic lenses creating a blue diamond shape in the middle of the moon. There's a halo effect created by multifocal lenses. I've had them long enough my brain edits out the effect, but this was new so my brain latched onto the blue diamond.

The picture above is the only really good shot I captured. The neighbors' security lights and the street lights had just kicked on, and you can see the edge of the moon's shadow via the cirrus clouds just above the treeline.

At the moment of totality, a cheer erupted from the neighborhood kids, followed by a dull roar of voices from all the spectators in town.

Like I said, pictures can't replicate the thrill at seeing an eclipse in person.

Stress and the Little Things I Do to Deal

The last five months have stressful for me. It's sucks that even good things stress me out these days.

My cataract surgery was very successful. It's so cool I ditched glasses for the first time in fifty-one years. But still, it's surgery. Things can go wrong. And I have one of those brains that has to analyze every single possible outcome.

Because of the unexpected surgeries, I got behind on fulfilling my 2023 Kickstarter campaign. I failed to get the majority of holiday gifts out before New Year's Day. I struggled to get my tax information collected and handed off to our CPA.

And I feared we would lose our fabulous CPA last year when he was diagnosed with cancer.

CANCER SUCKS.

Another friend also had cancer surgery this week, too. I know I'm at the age where shit happens to my peers. But the stress collects in my body. Yoga classes help, but not enough.

A friend noticed, and she suggested we get away for a weekend. She's had her own issues over the last year. We both need a little break right now. So, I'm taking her up on her idea of a little weekend getaway to a hotel with a spa.

I'm really looking forward to this getaway, and I'm sure I'll come back refreshed.

I hope you all find your own ways to relax over the weekend!

Believe In Yourself

This is for any writer who reads my blog.

Believe in yourself!

You will get a ton of criticism in your life. It's inevitable. Why? Because it's human nature. Maybe they want to make themselves feel better. Maybe it's because they want to "help" you. Maybe your art simple wasn't their taste. Regardless, the so-called feedback generally has nothing to do with you. Worse, it hurts (especially when it comes from someone you hold in high esteem and you want to impress them). And in the end, it all sucks.

If you want to succeed in life, you need to believe in your own talents and dedication to achieve your goals. You will be told by your critics that they are only looking out for your best interests. Heck, they often believe their words. But as the proverb says, the road to hell is paved by good intentions.

The best method o deal with criticism is to set aside your emotions and consider where the comment is coming from. Is there any truth to what the critic is saying? Is it something that needs to be improved in your art? Or is itsimply that your art isn't to your critic's taste?

For example, I've learned not to show my romance books to my SFF friends and vice versa. Very rarely do these fandoms cross genres. And that's okay. But these opinons will be colored by the persons' preferred genres.

If the criticism is more specific, like X section seems a little slow, or the heroine said this in Chapter 2 but does the exact opposition in Chapter 21 fo no apparent reason, then you have some to work on. Assuming you agree with the critic.

Then, there's times where someone tells you your story sucks. There's no specific reason why. You simply need to brush that kind of crap aside. It's not helpdful to you, and it says more about the person saying those kinds of thing.

Some writers think if they license one book to trad publishing, their career is made. This is not necessarily true. Yeah, your agent will tell you your book is the greatest thing they's ever read. Yeah, it makes you feel good, but it's not any different than the person who says your writing sucks. Something else is going on that has nothing to do with your writing. Maybe your book is exactly what a publisher said they were looking for. Maybe there's a hole in the publisher's schedule they need to fill.

No matter what anyone else thinks, the only person who really believes in your talent is you. No matter what path you take, make sure it's the path you want, not what someone else who claims to be "helping" you wants

So l said above, believe in yourself. Because no one else will care about your book as much as you do.

April Fool's Day

It used to be there would be all kinds of jokes and fake news on social media on April 1st. There was always outrage from idiots who didn't realize what day it was. The ones that struck were the peole who got their panties in a twist if someone joked about being pregnant. I understand the rage and frustration at not being able to conceive or losing a baby.

Seriously, I do. Genius Kid was a fucking miracle. However, I didn't get too upset over someone else's idea of a joke. It had nothing to do with me or my life. Those April's Fool pranks actually helped me to let go of my own fury at my situation. Life goes on after all.

But all jokes disappeared in April of 2020 with the rising death toll and the overwhelmed hospitals from COVID-19. Most April's Day jokes remained missing until this year.

Today, a few jokes popped up on my feeds. The moderator of a fan site dedicated to Neil Gaiman's Sandman switched the header to say it was a fan site of Goldie the Gargoyle. Another friend beyond her child-bearing years made the usual pregnancy joke. Mainly, there were an abundance of puns.

After the last four years, most of the humor was actually humorous instead of cruelty-based. In a way, it's reassuring the world hasn't totally devolved into fractious fighting and mean-spirited insults.

Or maybe I'm just doing a better job of weeding out the trolls.

Either way, Camp NaNo started today, and I have a book to finished. Wish me luck!

Music I've Been Listening to Lately

One last Tay-Tay song for the month.

Easter Weekend and an Eclipse

It's going to be a wild couple of weekends here in Northwestern Ohio.

This weekend is Easter, and we live in the Midwest. What does that mean? Kroger was pretty much wiped out when we went to get groceries tonight. And candy is already on sale 50% off.

Don't worry. I only bought four Reese's Eggs and a bag of Reese's pieces for our little treat. I may even make creamed eggs and toast for Sunday breakfast. I surprised the hell out of my mother-in-law years ago by making it when they came down to Houston for the holiday. She hadn't had creamed eggs since she was a little girl.

I admit I miss coloring eggs with Genius Kid. And creating a treasure hunt to keep him occupied for an extra hour while DH and I slept.

The following weekend will be even more nuts with tourists arriving for the solar eclipse. RVs are already lining up in spaces on the fairgrounds for the big celestial event. The mayor and county commissioners are anticipating fifty thousand to one hundred thousand visitors in Hancock County alone.

In our case, DH and I will slap on some sunscreen and watch from the bench on our front porch. Or we might move the bench to the end of the drive, fill a couple of coolers and hang with the neighbors.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the rain moves out of the area and skies are clear on the day of this once in a lifetime event.

Are Recent Books Boring Or Is It Just Me?

I belong to several newsletters that advertise new books. I'm always looking for a new read. A new author to love.

But for the last few years, it's been weirdly difficult. It's common knowledge that trad publishing goes for the lowest common denominator. Rarely do they take chances on something different.

I truly believed with the advent of indie publishing and no gatekeeping, I'd find more different, engaging stories. Boy was I wrong. I'm seeing indie writers do the same thing as the trad publishers--they're following the herd.

Then both sides wonder why they're not making any money and sales are down.

First of all, we're in the weird recovery period after the COVID-19 pandemic. People expect things to go back to the normal they were pre-2020. It's not going to happen, folks. The post-apoc writers don't seem to realize that we spent the last three years living through a plague that killed millions of people. I honestly think that's why romcom is starting to make a comeback.

(Folks, that doesn't mean you should jump on the writing romcom bandwagon. Do it if you love the subgenre. Otherwise, leave it alone. We readers can tell when your heart's not it.)

Secondly, we in the U.S. are not getting any more stimulus checks. That means with the higher food prices, your average reader has less free cash for entertainment. Writers aren't competing with each other. We're competing with streaming and gaming. So unless writers figure a way to stand out, the general population isn't going to give a rat's ass.

Thirdly, the U.S. presidential election is this year. Setting aside the bullshit of the 2016 and 2020 elections, presidential election years have had notoriously slow sales over the last century because a good chunk of the population is paying more attention to politics. That's fine, and normal. Except the last two elections turned into a circus, and 2024 promises to be the same. Which means even fewer eyeballs are available to read out books.

Last, but not least, is the problem I mentioned above. A majority of writers, regardless of who their publisher is, are playing it safe. They're writing the same pablum over and over again. They use tropes as a write-by-the-numbers guide. It waters down their stories until you can't taste anything new and delightful.

So, if you're an indie writer seeking attention and discoverability, give us readers something new and different. I know I'd love to curl up with something new to read. Something so engaging Miss Bella can have a nice long nap on my lap while I read.